I don't know how and when my life has turned the other way around, from a total disastrous mess into a beautiful one. I think my life is getting better as I'm slowly moving on from my past. I have moved to the next level in my life and there are some new people who actually help me to reassemble the pieces of mine together without them realizing it.
There are people who have came into my life and told me "Hey, I like you". Please tell me how am I supposed to reply to that? 'Thank you? I guess. I couldn't deny myself that I'm that kind of cliché girl you met on the street who is easily fall in love with chessy words. That is my biggest problem when it comes into feelings. I easily fall in love when people give and say nice words to me. But I think I should modify that kind of mindset you know. I should learn to believe that sometimes words come easy, they don't even mean that and I should trust actions rather than words.
All of the messages; 'nanti nak datang merisik', 'saya tunggu awak' aren't my things now. I shouldn't rely on that ideas for now until it turns into actions. Until someone is ready to honour my Abah as my wali. It hurts you know when people give you hope and at the end of the day they are the ones who break it all. So, let fate takes the wheel shall we? A love relationship should be the safest zone, where you feel secure with your partner and I do believe the safest relationship is by marriage when someone is willing to accept and deal with all of my flaws and little cheeky-super-annoying attitudes.
What is the most important thing for me now is to improve myself to be a better person and keep on praying that Allah will grant me the best spouse to complete half of my deen. InshaAllah :)