20170313

#13

On instagram, I dm-ed my little (not so little) sister, Dalili.

"Adik.. kakak sedih.."

*immediately she calls me from Maktab*

"Kenapa sedih? Sebab tu lagi ke?"

"............"

"Dah la.. jangan sedih sedih lagi, jangan fikirkan sangat.."

"Tapi...."

"Ingat Mama Abah.. Kakak nak happykan Mama Abah kan? 
Adik kalau sempat, sempat.. tapi Mama Abah dah meningkat usia... 
you know what I mean right?"

"Ye.. tahu.."

"Semua benda yang berlaku ni ada hikmahnya.. bersangka baik dengan Allah okay?"

"Ya.. tapi........."

"Yelah.. tahu tu. Kakak dengan dia dah berapa lama?"

"Setahun, empat bulan"

"Kakak dengan Mama Abah dah berapa lama?"

"..................."

And then, I cried myself to sleep. thinking what I ain't. Every single day.
Until now. It hurts, it hurts. I hope this pain will get me numb,
until it doesn't hurt me anymore.

20170131

#12

Isn’t it strange that we talk least 
about the things we think about most?

20170130

#11

Depression isn't
always at 3am,
sometimes it hits you
at 3pm when you're
with your friends and
you're half way
through a laugh and
suddenly stop.