"Adik.. kakak sedih.."
*immediately she calls me from Maktab*
"Kenapa sedih? Sebab tu lagi ke?"
"............"
"Dah la.. jangan sedih sedih lagi, jangan fikirkan sangat.."
"Tapi...."
"Ingat Mama Abah.. Kakak nak happykan Mama Abah kan?
Adik kalau sempat, sempat.. tapi Mama Abah dah meningkat usia...
you know what I mean right?"
"Ye.. tahu.."
"Semua benda yang berlaku ni ada hikmahnya.. bersangka baik dengan Allah okay?"
"Ya.. tapi........."
"Yelah.. tahu tu. Kakak dengan dia dah berapa lama?"
"Setahun, empat bulan"
"Kakak dengan Mama Abah dah berapa lama?"
"..................."
And then, I cried myself to sleep. thinking what I ain't. Every single day.
Until now. It hurts, it hurts. I hope this pain will get me numb,
until it doesn't hurt me anymore.